Heartfelt

It's not everyday you'll see Peter so sad, so broken. And the fact he chooses to blog it, means he's too hurt to keep it in.

I'm a person who doesn't go around telling people my problems. I don't like to bother people about my problems. But I want to help people with their problems. When I'm hurt, I keep it in, not telling anybody and suffering in silence.

A new day approaches and I try to forget the last. It doesn't work that way. All it does is pile up.

Why?

Cos I choose not to address it, not to confront it. Rather, I run from it. From my hurt, from my brokeness.

Is that all we have to our friendship? That you can scream in my face. Yes, I choose to act strong, but do you know everytime you say it, I feel broken?

I never tell you what's wrong, I never tell you how sad I am. But it's time I did. I am saddened. I am broken. All this time, is this all there is to our friendship? What happened to affirming one another? About being a blessing?

I try man, I really do. I didn't wanna say this. But it's killing me.

Maybe you know what. Just pray hard I get a hotel soon.

Then I won't care so much anymore. All this brokeness and hurt will come to a close. Friendships will be lost, maybe that's for the better. I really don't wanna keep it in, I don't wanna hurt in silence.

It's been almost a month of me suffering in silence. No one knows, I doubt anyone would care.

But yes, alas.

*Sigh*

What did I do to make it come to this? The Devil must be clapping his hands in joy. A friendship meant for good, now turning sour and leading to nothing just because of one game.

One Game.

It's amazing how the Devil uses a game to break friendships. Good job there man.

But hey listen up Devil. I hate you, you'll be the person I'll hate forever. You never cease to break me and my friends. You want me to hate you don't you? Well then, I'll love my enemies more than ever before. Does that piss you off?

Well, spiritual warfare in my own life. Sometimes I wanna say it's just coincidence, but I have to learn to recognize it. That the Devil wants to break me.

"Why am I discouraged,
Why so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again -
my Saviour and my God!" Psalms 42:5

Lord, I don't know how to move on in this situation. Help me. Amen.

Sorry I couldn't blog today. Apologies.

God Bless.