Through The Storms

Warning - Long Entry (go get something to munch on)

No one in this world is spared. Everyone suffers from the storms of life. Last night, my spirit wept for me. I just cried for no reason in the middle of the night, full of pain. But I felt a release. Something inside me left, I guess it was the bottling up of emotions. If one could boast about letting the spirit intervene, I finally could boast about it now.

When all this turmoil started, I was doing much thinking in a cab. On the way home with Jerome as he probed about what has been going on. And I found it so difficult to answer that one question. It was an awkward ride, I didn't talk to him much. I was thinking about so many things.

And then just as Jerome left the cab, this song played on the radio. I know it's not a christian song. But at that point in time, it meant so much to me. It was on par with the song 'Still' that has always spoke to me in emotional times. God must have sent this song my way, because obviously I have not been listening to christian song (or any songs as a matter of fact). Amazing how the lyrics were so clear.

Celine Dion - A New Day Has Come

I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on and don't shed a tear

Through the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you

Hush, love

I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love

Let the rain come down
And wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun

A new day has come

Where it was dark now there's light
Where there was pain now there's joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy

Hush, love

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amazing how one secular song could sound so much like a christian song. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard it. And when it went 'hush, love', it meant so much like 'I will be still and know you are God'.

I guess God really does speak to me in obvious ways. And He really gets his message across. Yes, I hear you God. Well, I know you guys must have been praying for me. I don't know how much you guys have prayed. But it's must have been a significant effort. It's like a burden lifted off my heart. I feel light again, ready to be a blessing again. Does prayer really work such a huge wonder?

Guy and Gals. Thank you guys so much. I got through this not by my own strength. And yes, though God pulled me through, you guys played a huge part. I don't know why, but somehow there's so much I want to tell you guys. About the stuff I struggle with, about my emotions etc. But I guess when you guys prayed for me, it left. Last night. For no reason, I woke up crying. I didn't have a bad dream, I didn't even feel so hurt. But I guess it was release from the pain I was experiencing.

Now, if you guys still wonder what made me so hurt, don't ask. Please. Because though I'm better, I'm still not comfortable to share. This may sound selfish, or even nonchalant, but I really am not ready to share. Just treat me as per normal, the happy boy that you always see in church. Don't change your attitude towards me. Everyone faces the storms of life, no one is spared like I said.

Thank goodness I have a blog to release my emotions. I would be much worse off if I didn't blog about what I go through. Everything would be kept inside, and I would be suffering much more. Yes, I know some of you may think I'm really an attention seeker trying to gain pity from you guys. But I can say now, I am not. Blogging is for me to write about what my life is about, and in this case, my feelings and hurts. If you are uncomfortable reading such stuff (which sometimes may seem a bit negative), then I suggest you do not read. The last thing I want to be is a stumbling block for others in the faith.

I do not do self pity anymore. So I'll never say stuff like 'whoa why can't I have a better life', or 'my life is so sad'. I acknowledge the fact that I have to face life struggles. But, I also do know that God placed DR into my life to be there for me in times of difficulty. And so, my point is. Some people think blogging is shallow and a waste of time. For me, it's my way of being accountable to the people around me. So that people will understand what I go through, and know what is going on in Peter's life. If you haven't already noticed, I share so much weakness about myself in this blog that even I can't believe I am doing so. And also, blogging is a form of release. It's proven.

I know that the adults in church read my blog too. I couldn't believe my ears when I found out people reading my blog. It's quite cool to know so many adults read my blog too. And though it does put some fear into me for writing such stuff (and risk them finding out things about me), it's not going to stop me. Because I believe, if you love me, you won't judge me based on the truths I write here in my blog. Because, this is where the real Peter is. The one with emotions, hurts, and oh yes. All the crushes he's had on gals. Heh.

For a long time, people have thought that youths blog to gain attention. So that people around them might see who has the better going in life. But I hope to change all that. For all the adults who read our blogs, read it because you care. Don't judge us because we write stuff that might seem unfashionable, or might seem out of context. But read it because you care. Read our blogs because you want to know more about what goes through our minds. And because you know them through these blogs, trust me. You'll find it much easier to communicate with the youths of this generation. Moreover, this generation has been called for a time like this aye? *winks*

*Huge Smile* I'm so glad to have blogged such an entry. Everything I wanted to say. I feel like I can take on the world now, literally. Lolx. And though I was hit hard, I came out harder. Wakakakaka. To all youths out there. Don't stop blogging. Trust me, you'll feel much much better when you blog about your life.

And so, the whole soap opera has ended (or at least some of you may have felt that way). Tomorrow I'm going back to school for my interview. My mom's going to take leave to go with me. My family has been really worried about me because I've been so distant from them. But I'm ready to be close again. I just needed some time alone, some time to be quiet.

*pant pant* So much I've blogged about. I hope you guys didn't fall asleep ya? Hello? Helllloooo? Wake up la!! You pig!! Haha, just kidding. Ok, got to go now. Have a great day guys. Miss you all alot.

God Bless!