Trying To Make Things Better

Work was rather alright today. Time passed fast, and I had a good time making people smile and laugh as usual. It's been a good journey knowing these guys and gals from my outlet, and to learn that they have a good sense of humour too.

Since the first few days working here, I've always known Lawrence to be rather uptight and quiet in nature. His nature was never to strike a conversation unless someone takes the initiative first. And as I've said in an earlier post, I've learnt that he's an amiable guy after all - capable of smiling and even laughing. *roll eyes* (it seems like I stereotype people aye?)

I know it's not good to judge people, but sometimes I think it is more than judging them. It's being sensitive and knowing others. I've always felt that he was rather sad, a mask covering his inner thoughts. His smile somehow never felt quite right, my finger never being able to point out why either.

Tonight, as I was on the way to the horrid garbage dump to throw the daily waste, I was allowed some time to speak to him. I wanted to know what was, beneath that smile that seems so forced, his true feelings.

True enough, I probed about his personal life, maybe a bit too much, but I was glad he opened up. He told me about his dreams, his sadness, why he feels down, and why he never has a genuine smile. That hit me quite hard. All along, though I hated to acknowledge it, I wanted to feel that all his smiles were genuine.

Anyway, as we chatted, I realised that I felt empathy. It wasn't sympathy at all. I went through this before, carrying a lot of burdens upon my life, and feeling lost. But due to one little boy (now Sec 3 and doing well in school), and many others in church, I overcame this way of thinking.

Somehow knowing someone is going through something you've gone through before really pricks you quite bad. People always felt making me feel special and to feel loved impossible. Now, I'm the one feeling this way. I want to make Lawrence feel better, but I don't know how. All that little boy did for me was to say 'hi's and 'how are you's. I wish it would work with Lawrence.

On a much brighter note! I'm off on wednesday!! Yes!! That would be 9 days of working before having my first off day. Lolx. It seems like only yesterday when I had an off. I believe my colleagues must have contributed much to my acclaimed jovial attitude.

Tomorrow I'm working from 4pm to 11pm. I hope that the sun would be hidden behind the clouds, and a slight breeze soothes the weather all day. I love lazy days. It doesn't mean that I slack, it just means I feel better working. Lolx.

I'm off to reading my fanfic now. It's fabulous I tell you. How does one even conjure such profound adjectives to describe events in her story, and pen 150,000 words just for a fanfic. Yes, that a huge lot for 50 chapters. She should seriously consider writing for a career. Something within me tells me she'll go very far. After all, she's the one who got me hooked on reading. *smiles*

Alright! Adios people!